‘’It’s not a sex party honey, I’m being held hostage’’

Newsspeak understands that couples like to inject some excitement into their sex lives and this of course works well when both partners agree. However, when a husband takes things into his own hands and the wife is left out of the loop, it doesn’t always pan out as one would hope. And when the police get involved, well, that just leads to a whole different ball game.

This is an amazing news story set in Chicago. Enjoy!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
An Orland Park woman, who awoke recently to find her husband and a man she’d never seen before standing by the bed in their underwear, told police she didn’t understand why her husband wouldn’t let her call the police after claiming he’d been taken hostage, or why he tried to talk her into going downstairs.

Police, however, have their own idea of what happened, and arrested the husband for felony disorderly conduct, and the man and another woman for misdemeanor prostitution.

Police arrested Geries Fakhoury, 32, of the 9400 block of John Humphrey Drive, and Thomas C. “Chris” Chatham, 35, and Shina Tousant, 49, both of the 1200 block of South Tripp Street in Chicago on March 8.

Fakhoury told police he was the victim of an unprovoked attack by two persons he’d never met and had no idea why he’d been targeted.

Police said Fakhoury initially told them he’d been accosted by a screwdriver-wielding man and a woman as he was entering his home around 10 p.m. March 7. He allegedly told police the two made him smoke a substance he suspected was crack cocaine, coerced him into entering his home, then demanded money.

Fakhoury reportedly told the couple he had no cash but agreed to go to a nearby bank where he withdrew $800 in two $400 transactions from a cash machine.

He said he and the couple returned to his home, where they forced him to smoke some more of the substance, strip down to his underwear, then pay his wife a visit with the other man.

But after questioning all four, police believe instead Geries Fakhoury paid Chatham and Tousant $400 apiece for a sex party meant to include the unsuspecting wife. The wife declined Chatham’s advances and remained alone in the bedroom, police said.

Fakhoury’s wife told police her husband said the couple took him hostage, but refused to allow her to call police, even when they were alone in the bedroom.

He told her to let them do what they want, she told police.

Chatham and Tousant left around 12:30 a.m., taking car keys, Fakhoury’s wallet, the garage door opener and the $800.

Shortly after that, Fakhoury allowed his wife to call police.

Fundamentally, it’s about public masturbation.

‘He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone’

Christian fundamentalists are well known to preach against ‘unholy’ acts; gay and premarital sex, self-gratification, etc. so it is fairly amusing when NewsSpeak is passed this story regarding a well-known ‘Bible-Basher’ Rev. Grant Storms. Storms has for numerous years campaigned against the ‘Southern Decadence’ festival which is held in New Orleans. This is mainly a gay festival and Storms views it as sexually pervasive and immoral. After this little incident, he may want to change his target.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The Rev. Grant Storms, the Christian fundamentalist known for his bullhorn protests of the Southern Decadence festival in the French Quarter, was arrested on a charge of masturbating at a Metairie park Friday afternoon.

Storms, 53, of 2304 Green Acres Road in Metairie, was taken into custody at Lafreniere Park after two women reported seeing him masturbating in the driver's seat of his van, which was parked near the carousel and playground, a Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office report said.

The first woman told deputies she was taking her children to the playground and parked next to the van at about noon. As she was walking around her own vehicle, she noticed the van windows were down and the occupant was "looking at the playground area that contained children playing, with his zipper down...," the report said. The woman noted that he was masturbating and quickly ushered her children out of her car.

She told a second woman, who walked to the van and also spotted the man masturbating, the report said. The second witness told deputies that the driver saw her and tried to conceal the zipper area of his pants with his hand.

The two women flagged down a park employee who notified the Sheriff's Office. The employee detained the man, later identified as Storms, until deputies arrived.

Storms told deputies he was having lunch at the park when he decided to urinate using a bottle instead of the restroom, the report said.

Deputies booked him with obscenity. Bond was set at $5,000, but he was released from the Jefferson Parish Correctional Center in Gretna on Sunday because of jail crowding.

Storms could not be reached for comment on Monday.

A self-styled "Christian patriot," Storms led a small West Bank congregation called The Reformer Church and for 10 years hosted "The Reformer Radio Show" on WSHO. Storms has railed against the Roman Catholic church, calling it "satanic" and "demonic."

He is especially known for arming followers with bullhorns, Bibles and picket signs to protest Southern Decadence, the three-day gay festival held in the French Quarter during Labor Day weekend. Storms grabbed national attention in 2003 with his failed attempts to shut down what Southern Decadence organizer Chuck Robinson called a peaceful festival that celebrates gay and alternative lifestyles.

"He's done everything through the years to disturb that and try to make it into something nasty that it's not," Robinson said. "If the Rev. Storms is caught doing that in our city, it is ludicrous and heinous that he would have the nerve to complain about any kind of sexuality."

The amplified antics of Storms and his followers prompted the New Orleans City Council to adopt ordinances banning the use of megaphones and other such devices in the French Quarter, though the law requires a certain decibel meter reading before it can be enforced.

Earl Bernhardt, co-owner of The Tropical Isles and two other Bourbon Street clubs, got a temporary restraining order against Storms during Southern Decadence 2004, then went bullhorn to bullhorn with him when that didn't work.

"He's, in my opinion, just repulsive," Bernhardt said Monday. "I'm not surprised at all that he got caught doing that. Serves him right. He'll be out of our hair down here."